The Impossible Queen
by destinhicks
Summary: The Doctor, Captain Jack Harkness, and Clara - the Impossible Girl, go to Storybrooke to help with an impending emergency. But what is following them might be worse than the problem they're trying to solve.
1. Chapter 1

**The Impossible Queen**

* * *

Chapter 1: Welcome to Storybrooke

Jack swung open the blue door of the TARDIS and peered outside. Emma, Regina, Henry, Snow, and Charming were staring at him. He gestured over to the Doctor and Clara. "Get out here. People want to know who we are and why we're here." They filed out, with the Doctor standing in the middle and forward, the other two behind him.

The Doctor straightened his red bow-tie and smiled. "Hello, I'm the Doctor! What are your names?" He asked.

The Queen stepped forward first. She offered the Doctor her hand to shake. He obliged. She said, "I'm Regina Mills, mayor of Storybrooke." She pointed out the others who were waiting to be introduced. "Over there is my son, Henry, Emma Swan, Mary Margaret Blanchard, David Nolan, and Mr. Gold." She gave an icy grin. "Who are they, the ones behind you?"

Jack stepped forward and shook Regina's hand, "Hello, Regina. I'm Captain Jack Harkness," he said with a thousand-dollar smile.

Clara shook hands with Regina as well. "I'm Clara, nice to meet you." She stepped back a little and said, "Nice to meet all of you."

"Very well, now that introductions are out of the way, I think we'll enjoy that cafe," said the Doctor. He began to walk to Granny's Diner. Jack and Clara followed, and Regina walked alongside him.

"How exactly did you get here, Doctor?" She demanded.

Jack cleared his throat and spoke up. "You saw us arrive. We got here in that blue police box. We call it a TARDIS. It stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. It's a time machine and a spaceship at the same time."

Regina looked infuriated while Emma laughed in disbelief and said, "A space ship? That little box?"

"It's bigger on the inside," Clara said matter-of-factly.

"I can't believe this," Emma muttered.

The Doctor, Jack, and Clara sat down in a booth. Hook was at his own booth next to the window. Grumpy was at the counter. Regina stood over their table. Ruby noticed them and handed them menus. "Hi, I'm Ruby. What will you have to drink today?" she asked.

The Doctor spoke first, "I'll have some tea. Jack? Clara?"

"Tea for me as well," said Clara.

"I'll have some coffee, two creams, one sugar. Thanks Ruby," Jack said, with a wink.

"Oh, Jack! Don't you ever stop?" The Doctor exclaimed.

Regina was visibly losing her patience. She leaned in and looked the Doctor in the eye. She gave him a stern look as she said, "As mayor of Storybrooke, I demand to know who you are. What kind of doctor are you, anyway?"

The Doctor stopped smiling and became quite serious. "Mayor, I am the Doctor, and I am here to help you and this town, so why don't you stop asking questions, and tell us what's wrong here? Or we can just sit and eat. Your choice, Regina."

Regina backed away, and brushed herself off. "The affairs of this town are none of your concern. We're just another small town. You really should just finish your lunch and be on your way."

The Doctor stood up and got right in Regina's face. "No. Something is coming. Something terrible." He turned to the onlooking crowd. "You're all in danger. You know what it is. Tell me, so I can help you."

The residents of Storybrooke who were present looked away, at the floor or at each other. No one was talking. All except for Henry.

Clara saw it first. "Henry, you can tell us. What's going on here?" Clara asked.

Emma grabbed Henry's arm. "No, Henry, it's none of their business. You know what could happen if you tell them."

"They want to help," Henry said. "Look at them. They have secrets, too. They aren't going to tell anyone about what's going on here."

He walked over to the Doctor, who kneeled to get to Henry's level. Henry began. "My mom cast a spell."

Jack laughed. "A spell? As in magic? This ought to be good."

"Henry, stop!" Regina pleaded.

Henry ignored her. "If we don't reverse it, someone will die at midnight."

Ruby came back with the drinks. Clara sipped her tea and said, "So reverse it, then."

Henry shed a tear. "We can't. We need something that can only be found in Wonderland, and we don't have a portal."

The Doctor put his hands on Henry's shoulders. "What is it you need?"

"The Cheshire Cat," Henry told him.

The Doctor got to his feet. "We can do that, Henry. Come on, Jack, Clara. Break's over. We've got work to do." He tried to walk out the door.

Emma blocked him with her hand. "You're not going without me, she said."

Hook took a swig of rum and declared, "Where you go, I go."

Regina moved to Emma's side. "You're not going without me. This is my fault, and you'll need my magic. Snow, Charming, can you watch Henry?"

Snow and Charming nodded. "Yeah, we'll take care of him, you do what you have to do to stop this from happening."

Regina and Emma took turns hugging Henry goodbye.

The Doctor, Jack, and Clara led the way back to the TARDIS, and went in first. Regina went in next. She looked around, amazed and not at all sure what she was seeing. Next came Emma, and then Hook.

"I don't believe we've met," Jack said. "I'm Captain Jack Harkness. And who are _you_?"

Hook gave a devilish grin, "I, too, am a captain. Captain Hook, at your service," he said, with a bow.

"Oh, you will be," Jack smiled.

"Will be what?" Hook asked, confused.

"At my service." Jack winked. "So, would you three like the grand tour? There's a lovely hot tub in here, if you know where to find it."

"Listen here, Captain Jack," Regina said, gritting her teeth. "I'm here to make amends because I made a mistake that I regret and made my son more distant."

"And I'm here to help her do it," Emma added.

"We don't have time to play around," Regina concluded.

Jack laughed. "We're in a time machine, ladies… and gentleman. We have all the time in the world."

"If this thing can create a portal, then just take us to Wonderland," Regina demanded.

The Doctor spoke. "Let's get one thing straight, Regina. You may be the mayor of Storybrooke, but I'm in charge. Especially in the TARDIS, do you understand?"

Regina chuckled. "I have magic. What power do you have?"

The Doctor gave her a serious look. "I am a Time Lord, Regina. I am nine hundred years old and I have traveled through time and space. I have seen things you couldn't even imagine. You think the deaths you've caused are many and severe? I've wiped out entire species. I've destroyed planets. And from these great tragedies, with the help of some good companions, I learned how to be a better man. I am older than you, smarter than you, and I have two hearts as opposed to your one."

"Impossible," Regina and Emma said at once.

"I used to say that about Clara. Yet, here she is, so possible she's standing right in front of us. You might have thought something being bigger on the inside was impossible, for that matter, and now you know it is not. Very few things, as it turns out, are actually impossible. Now, you might want to hold onto something. Because we're about to take off!" The Doctor yelled, as he pulled the last lever and pushed the final button. The TARDIS took off with a "Vroormp! Vroormp!"


	2. Chapter 2

**The Impossible Queen**

**Chapter 2: Welcome to Wonderland**

The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS and took a big gulp of air. "Ahh, Wonderland. Been a while since I was here last. Alice was just a child, then. So innocent. We should visit her sometime when we have the chance.

Clara's excitement was clearly written across her face, but she was troubled. "Doctor, um… shouldn't we be worried about The Queen of Hearts? You know, off with our heads and all that?"

Jack chuckled, "If she wants my head, all she has to do is ask nicely."

Emma scoffed. "You and Hook are going to get along famously."

Hook piped up, "As I recall, Sheriff, you didn't have any objections last night, did you?"

Regina gasped. "If you three are done flirting, could we please focus on the task at hand?"

Clara smiled wickedly, "Boys will be boys. But there's no reason why we can't have fun on the way to see the grinning pussycat, is there?"

"She's right, Regina," said the Doctor. "It might be a while until we find him and you might as well enjoy the conversation."

As they trudged through the forest, Clara nudged Emma and whispered, "So, you and the pirate have a thing, but what's the deal with you and the mayor?"

Emma scoffed, "We have a history, but… she's with Robin, I'm with Hook, and it's complicated."

"But you still like her, don't you?" Clara asked.

Emma sighed. "Yeah, I more than like her. I love her. But I never got a chance to say it, and now here we are."

Clara nodded. "You should tell her. If you don't, you'll regret it."

Regina glared at them. "What are you two talking about over there?"

Jack grinned, "Probably about us strapping gentlemen here, huh, Hook?" He slapped Killian on the back.

"Don't worry, Clara, there's enough of me to go around," Hook winked.

"I'm counting on it," said Jack.

Regina fumed. "Why are you even here, Captain Jack?"

"The Doctor is a good friend of mine," Jack replied. "And he needed my help."

The Doctor smiled. "Give him a chance, Regina, he's a good man, he just likes a little company on his travels. Personally, I find conversation stimulating enough, but he's human, and you can't really blame him for acting like it. Maybe you should try it sometime."

"Hmph. I've got all the company I need back home in Storybrooke."

"Do you?" Clara asked.

"What do you mean? Emma, what did you say to her?" Regina demanded.

Emma stopped in her tracks and turned around to face Regina. They stood inches apart. "Maybe you can forget what we had, Regina, but I can't. I miss your kiss, I miss your touch, I miss that knowing half-smile. I think about you all the time. Hook's great, but… No offense, Killian… I'm not in love with him. Not like I was with you." Emma took Regina into her arms and kissed her with all the passion of longing that had been building up since their time apart.

Hook sighed and got out his flask of rum. "Looks like it's me, you, and Clara, then, chap," he said to Jack.

Jack grinned. "We can work with that, Hook."

The trees rustled. There above them sat a purple cat with a large grin. "Don't mind me, you girls keep at it," he said, with smarm galore.

Regina stopped and pushed Emma away. "You're coming with me, cat." She declared.

The cat blinked carelessly. "Oh, am I? I suppose you're going to make me, are you? You and the rest of these souls?"

The Doctor signalled at Regina to stop. "We need you to come with us, cat. A world is in danger. I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist."

The cat licked its paw. "Well, I would let the rest of you try to make me, but I know better than to cross the Doctor. I remember the last time you were here. You made quite a mess, didn't you, Doctor?"

The Doctor shrugged, "It comes with the territory. Now, come with us back to the TARDIS, and we'll get this whole thing sorted."

The cat obeyed.

"That was way too easy," Regina mumbled under her breath.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Impossible Queen**

**Chapter 3: We Saved Some Worlds. I Say We Party.**

AFTER SOME ANNOYING CAT WRANGLING AND NOT AT ALL GAY LADY SPELLCASTING...

"Well, now that we've saved the day, I think we've earned some drinks," Jack said.

Hook gulped down the last of his rum. "I'm way ahead of you, mate. But I'm afraid I've run dry, so I'll follow you to the bar."

Clara took Ruby by the hand. "You should come with us," she said, with a sparkle in her eyes.

Ruby smiled appreciatively, but then shook her head. "Granny would kill me."

The Doctor winked. "I'll keep your Granny and Henry company." He turned to the group, "The rest of you go. We saved some worlds today. Be merry. Enjoy yourselves because you can."

Emma locked her gaze on Regina, "Henry will be safe with the Doctor, and after dealing with that cat, I could use some drinks."

Regina frowned. "Nobody will have fun if I go," she protested. "They all hate me."

Hook coughed. "Nonsense, woman. You were a villain, but now, you're a hero. Everyone knows what you've sacrificed to keep Storybrooke and Henry safe."

Jack spoke up. "Everyone's invited! Come on, drinks are on me. Before the Doctor found me, I had been seeing a very rich young fella. Cute, too." He grinned at Hook, "No as cute as you, Killian."

Hook chuckled. "Well, of course not. Rich boy or not, he's still just a man."

As they walked into the bar, Rumple smiled softly at Belle. "Even when you didn't remember who you were or who I was, I met the other you here and you still came to love me, my darkness and my light," he said in a low voice, hoping no one would overhear.

Belle squeezed his hand. "I'll never forget you again, Rumple. Because what we have is stronger than any curse, I know it is."

"It wasn't stronger than the dagger," Emma muttered.

"Careful, dearie," Rumple warned. "You may be family, but I'm still the Dark One, and there's no telling what I might do if you cross me."

Regina scoffed. "Right, like you would harm Emma and risk upsetting Belle. Face it, Rumple, we're retired. Our evil days are gone."

Hook raised a glass. "Let's drink to that."

Glasses clinked all around. People chattered and on the third drink, Jack stood up and said, "Storybrooke, let's play a game. No, let's play two games. Two in one. Spin the bottle truth or dare. If you refuse your dare or get caught in a lie, you have to drink a shot."

Emma snorted. "What is this, a sixth grade sleepover?"

Clara piped up. "No, it'll be fun, don't you think, Ruby?"

Ruby shrugged. "I'm in."

Jack gestured for everyone to gather in a circle. He got a bottle of beer. "Killian, will you empty this for me?"

"Much obliged," Hook replied, and chugged the Guinness.

When he was done, Jack said, "Okay, Hook, you'll spin first. Whoever the bottle lands on, you will ask that person 'Truth or dare?' If they say 'truth,' then you can ask them any question and they have to answer truthfully. If they say 'dare,' then you dare them to do something, and if they refuse, they have to drink a shot. And people, feel free to keep drinking either way."

"Alright, lad, I'll do it." Hook gave the bottle a spin. It landed on Clara. "Truth or dare, Clara?"

"Dare!" Clara answered, excitedly.

Hook raised an eyebrow. "I dare you…" he paused dramatically, "To duel me in a swordfight."

Clara bit her lip. "I've never done that before," she said nervously.

Hook gave a toothy grin, "Don't worry, lass, I'll go easy on you."

Clara stood up. "I'll do it. Someone gimme a sword."

Emma handed her a blade. "Be careful, Clara. He's a pirate. He plays dirty."

"I'm a girl," Clara pointed out. "I play dirtier."

Clara and Hook went outside and the others followed. They stared each other down. Hook drew his sword. Clara readied herself. Hook bowed slightly. "Ready?" he asked. Clara nodded. "Then let's go!"

Clara took the defensive first, blocking Killian's swings. She started to feel the rhythm of the fight, and taking a few swings herself, but he blocked her every time. She got frustrated, so she started mixing it up, trying to throw him off. She cut his arm. He ran his finger over the wound and tasted the blood. His eyes flashed with burning lust. He swung at her and she blocked his sword, but lost her balance. She fell backward. "Hey Emma, remember this moment?" He called. "It appears now I have a new girl on her back. Whatever will I do with her?"

Clara just breathed calmly, "Whatever you want," she whispered.

"I expected more resistance from a feisty thing like you," Hook remarked.

"I don't play games," Clara said firmly. "If you want it, come and get it."

Hook stood, sheathed his sword, and helped Clara up. With his face close to hers, he whispered, "We'll continue this conversation later."

"Promises, promises." Clara said, as she walked away.

"Back to the game!" Jack declared, and herded everyone inside. When everyone was settled again, he nodded at Clara, "Your turn to spin."

Clara spun the bottle. It spun three times and then landed between Jack and Hook. "I'll spin again," Clara said. This time, it landed on Ruby. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Ruby answered eagerly.

Clara chuckled wickedly. "I dare you… to kiss Belle. On the lips. With a bit of tongue. For at least 30 seconds."

Belle's eyes widened. "I'm married!" she protested.

Rumple laughed. "It's just a game, luvvy," he assured her.

Ruby looked Belle up and down and said seductively, "Come on, Belle, it's no big deal, I know you've thought about it."

"Half the town has thought about it," Emma remarked.

Ruby crawled toward Belle on her knees, and grabbed the back of her head, whispered in her ear, "Let's make it count," and locked lips with Belle. Jack counted out the seconds. Belle turned red gradually. At 30, Ruby backed away, and as her lips left Belles', Belle whimpered and let out a huge sigh of ecstasy.

By this time, everyone had drunk at least 5 rounds, and nobody but the Queen was drinking anything as weak as an appletini. Ruby spun the bottle. It landed on Jack. "Truth or dare?" she asked.

"You know I'm choosing dare," he replied.

"I dare you to take off your shirt!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Easy enough," Jack said. "Try not to fall in love," he warned her. "You, too, Hook," he winked.

The bottle was spun a few more times and the drinks were poured some more, and nobody was fully clothed any longer. Ruby didn't even have her bra on, and she kept drawing everybody's gaze. Jack and Hook had underwear on, but one could tell they were physically aroused. The game was really on now. It was Emma's turn to spin. The bottle spun around twice and then landed square on Regina. Regina, not wanting to look like a coward, picked dare. Emma's eyes flashed with wicked glee. "I dare you, to play with Ruby's boobs, and suck on her neck."

Ruby grinned from ear to ear, but with a bit of concern, she asked, "Is that okay, though, Emma?"

Emma chuckled, "I want to see her do it. Show her what you've got, Mayor Mills. Show us all."

Regina wasn't really drunk, but she thought of all the naughty things she'd thought of Ruby, and how much she seemed to be begging to be taken. And she wanted to remind Emma of how things had been not so long ago. She moseyed over to Ruby, got down on her knees, grabbed a breast with each hand, and jiggled them a little. Ruby bit her tongue and breathed in expectantly. Regina moved some of Ruby's hair aside and dove into her neck, and did more than just kiss it. She sucked on it some and even bit it a few times. She wanted to make sure Ruby had a big hickey for week after that night, to remind her of the other kind of magic Regina could perform. With the love bites, Ruby moaned slightly. Emma looked bemused. When Regina stopped, Ruby caught her breath. Jack applauded. "Now it's a party," he said.

"And it's my turn to spin," Regina declared. "And you all have better pick dare from here on out." She spun and the bottle landed on Hook.

"I dare you, Killian…" she smiled evilly. "To take Jack to the back and let him have his way with you."

Hook turned to Jack. "Well, captain to captain, it's been a while since I laid with a lad. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I just didn't want my crew telling stories about me going that way. But, there is something about you, Jack Harkness, and it's not just that body. There's something about you that's just different, and strong, and I want it, and I want you. So let's go to the back, bad boy, and see what you've got."

"I would say I thought you'd never ask," Jack joked, "But I knew you would." They went into the back, and Ruby and Clara leaned against the door to listen to Hook's moans and Jack's grunts. Emma and Regina said goodbye for the night and scurried off to Regina's bedroom for their own privacy. Ruby, Belle, and Rumple, not wanting to be left out, had their fun between the stacks at the library. Rumple made good use of his cane.

They fell asleep by dawn, but little did they know, something had followed the Doctor to Storybrooke, and it was out for blood.


End file.
